While natural, experiencing menstruation can cause a lot of changes for your little girl. In addition to that, having a period means many things that they may not completely understand or like very much. It is normal for most girls to go through a period of rapid development and growth that sort of ushers them into womanhood, long before you or they are ready. There are some things that you can do to help.

The first thing NOT to do is simply hand them a book. On average, most girls get their period between the ages of 9 and 12 – although this is just an average. Some get it earlier while others later. The most likely indicator of when they will get it is the development of their breasts. Pediatricians normally say that once they begin to bud – their period will follow in 6 months time. Still, don’t give them a book to explain the whole thing. It is much better and more calming if it comes from you.

The best thing you can do as a parent is sit down and talk with your little girl long before they get their period. Allow them in the bathroom with you and try to show them as you go what it is like to have a period. Above all, let them know what to expect. The sight of blood can be terrifying for a young girl – and if it happens at school or when you are not around, you want them to have a heads up. Come up with a plan for this day. Your child may feel perfectly comfortable going to the school nurse or may rush through your bedroom door to tell you about it. On the other hand, it may cause them to feel a tremendous amount of stress, fear, or embarrassment. If you don’t think your child is comfortable talking to another adult about it – make sure they can call you. Come up with a nickname for their period, so they can tell you about it over the phone without other people knowing. (For me it was Aunt Ruby)

There can often be a short disconnect between dad and daughter during this time in their life. Partly it is because they still feel like a little girl and partly because they don’t want their dad to know. Dad should probably remain happily out of the loop until he is invited. As expected, the hormonal surges during puberty and this time of the month are like punctuated PMS. Not only are they suffering from hormonal imbalance, but your child is also suffering with the emotional side of having a period. Give them a little leeway and allow them to grow accustomed to the idea.

If you have talked about it before – plainly and honestly, then preparing your daughter for the world should be easy. Have them carry a small purse, show them exactly what to do and pack them an Advil or two in case they are prone to cramps. Then start marking your calendars. Most girls will be irregular for the first few months, sometimes skipping a period and other times have scant bleeding every few weeks. As things level out, you can begin predicting their cycles and preparing them ahead of time.

Some girls are excited about this time in their life while others just are not. A lot of their attitude about change and growing up comes from how their parents feel about them growing up. If you are always wishing them to be a baby again or dwelling on the things they did when they were a toddler, you are silently sending a message that you won’t love your child as much when they grow up. Make sure you let your kids know at this age, just as you did when they were little – just how cool you think they are. Allow them to embrace growing up and the changes that come with it with honesty – and your daughter will likely adjust just fine.